A part of the struggle of divorce is to know how you should handle your kids. How can you ease their transition?
CNN warns that when parents handle divorce poorly, children may view their family as failures.
Do not insult your former spouse
When a marriage dissolves, you and your spouse may feel trapped in a drawn-out fight. Your children should not feel the same way about the divorce. Your children do not need to hear the negative reasons for the divorce. For example, if one partner cheats or another spends too much money, the children do not need to blame either of the parents.
Your children identify with both you and your ex. When you insult your ex, your children may internalize and relate to it. If you say you cannot trust your former spouse, young children may wonder if you can trust them too. They develop their sense of self through their parents and you do not want to hurt their self-esteem.
Create an easy transition
Transitioning to single life may feel difficult for you, but keep in mind that your children also undergo an extreme life change. Try to talk to your children about the things that do not change. Often, divorce conversations bring up the things that do change. This can feel overwhelming to anyone, especially kids. Instead, highlight the parts that stay the same. They need to understand which parts of the routine to keep. Additionally, always remind your children that the love between you and your kids never changes.
All kids process divorce differently. Be prepared to have multiple conversations and to meet them where they are.