Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time for families, especially for children, who have no control over the changes overtaking their lives. Informing your children of the split can be a difficult and painful process, no matter how you handle it.
However, there are certain actions you can take to make the conversation easier.
Embrace honesty
Be as honest as possible while tailoring your language and detail level to the age and maturity of your children. It is already a confusing time for them, and they need you to be open with them. Encourage them to reciprocate by expressing their emotions and worries honestly so they do not fester inside of them; respond with understanding to their frustrations and anger or pain.
This also reassures them that you are still the same parent, a person they can trust, at a time when they may have doubts about many aspects of their family identity and what they thought they knew about life. Also, answer questions as clearly as is age-appropriate, again avoiding lying or prevarication.
Reaffirm your love
Children may worry that the divorce is their fault or that they will lose the love and support of one or both parents. Reassure them of your unconditional love and their lack of blame in the divorce. Explain that while certain circumstances may change, your and their other parent’s love for them remains constant.
Divorce can have a serious impact on children, not just their immediate lives, but their future as well. Breaking the news to them is an important step but one that can cause harm if not handled properly. Love, patience and honesty are key factors for easing the telling, even if they do not make it easy.
