You might be one of many people in Texas who are known for being a peacemaker. Do you typically avoid confrontation and opt for peaceful, amicable discussion to resolve problems whenever possible? Then again, maybe negotiating has never been a strong point of yours. Either way, if your preparing for divorce, it pays to practice good negotiation skills.
Thinking of the settlement process as a series of negotiation sessions may help you streamline your efforts by having certain goals in mind, then cooperating with your spouse to accomplish them. Perhaps, you and your spouse don’t get along so well. It’s still possible to keep stress to a minimum in divorce by using helpful negotiation tools.
Try to find common ground
Especially if you and your ex are co-parents, it’s helpful to try to focus on the issues you have in common as opposed to your differences. For instance, do you both think it’s important for your children to share holidays with both of you? When devising your co-parenting agreement, you can use that as a starting point and go from there.
Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship
You may no longer wish to be married to each other; however, as parents of the same children, you can try to respect each other’s position. This, in turn, helps you connect on a personal level, which makes negotiating a lot less stressful than if beginning every discussion with feelings of animosity.
Be willing to compromise
If there’s an issue that’s particularly important to your ex but doesn’t really matter to you, it may help negotiations if you’re willing to appease him or her. For instance, maybe your ex wants custody exchange to take place at a restaurant near his or her workplace. If you’re indifferent about the location, you might consider letting your ex have the say.
A willingness to compromise on your part may spark a similar willingness in your ex, so the next time you have a need or consider a matter important, he or she may be more willing to be flexible.
If you feel unable to handle a specific issue
When you hope to achieve a peaceful, fair divorce settlement, you are willing to try to avoid conflict. You don’t have to be an expert with words or an experienced negotiator to put forth your best effort to come up with a plan that keeps your kids’ best interests in mind and helps everyone involved move on in life in as healthy a manner as possible.
If an issue arises that you don’t feel equipped to resolve on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support.